Dessert with Dinner? A Kid-Friendly Strategy That Works
Growing up, many of us heard the familiar rule: “No dessert unless you finish your dinner!” If that sounds familiar, the idea of serving dessert with dinner might seem a little strange. But today, I’m going to share why offering dessert alongside dinner can actually reduce power struggles and even help your child eat more of their meal.
Why offer dessert with dinner?
It’s no wonder that kids love dessert. After all, who doesn’t? Most people are naturally drawn to sweet flavors, and kids are no exception. When desserts are used as rewards or bribes, they become even more desirable.
Picture this: you serve your child dinner and tell them they can’t have dessert unless they clean their plate. Maybe they really want that dessert, so they eat the whole meal, even if they weren’t all that hungry to begin with. This can lead to overeating, since they’ll still have dessert afterward, despite already being full. Encouraging your child to clean their plate makes it harder for them to listen to their body’s natural hunger and fullness cues.
Now imagine a different approach: you serve dinner along with a small cookie. Your child might eat the cookie first, but they’re more likely to stop eating the rest of the meal once they feel full. This helps them tune into their internal cues instead of eating just to earn a reward.
Serving dessert with dinner can also take away its "special" status and reduce the temptation to overeat it when it does appear. Children who are regularly offered dessert are often less likely to overindulge compared to kids who rarely get it.
Avoid using dessert as a reward
I don’t recommend bribing your child or offering desserts as a reward for getting a good grade on a school project or scoring the winning goal. When we tie sweets to accomplishments or behavior, it can send the message that dessert is the ultimate prize, making it even more appealing (especially when compared to non-dessert foods). Kids should be able to enjoy foods they love just because, not because they did something to earn them.
Food shouldn’t be used for bargaining. Instead, it’s helpful to create a neutral relationship with all foods (including sweet) so that kids learn to enjoy them in moderation without feeling the need to “deserve” them. This approach can help supports a healthier relationship with food.
What counts as dessert?
Dessert can look different in every household, and it doesn’t have to be the same every night. Some evenings, dessert might be fruit (if your kids enjoy it enough to see it as a treat), while other nights it could be a small cookie or brownie. The key is to offer a child-sized portion, especially if dessert is being served regularly.
You might choose to keep things simple during the week with fruit or yogurt, and save cookies or ice cream for the weekend. There’s no one right way to do it, but what matters most is creating a balanced, low-pressure approach to dessert that fits your family’s needs.
Though serving dessert with dinner may seem counterintuitive, it can actually help reduce mealtime battles and encourage kids to eat a wider variety of foods. By regularly exposing children to dessert in a low-pressure way, they begin to see it as just another food instead of something to earn or obsess over. Over time, this can support a healthier, more balanced relationship with food as they grow.
